Maybe this planet is some other planet's hell....

Let me ask you something: what is the reason for a Christian hell? I mean, are we really permanently and terribly punished for ETERNITY for something that was done over the course of years? And, are we truly punished for what we were made to be, eternally? If I was born into a situation that enveloped me and I was a method of the madness I was put into, then is God really going to punish me eternally for something that was more His doing than mine?? Don't we usually punish ourselves enough, or are years of personal anguish and misery just not enough for God? He just has to continue it through ETERNITY?

He is perfect and we are imperfect - and we're punished for it.

I read in the New Testament once that we shouldn't rail against our Maker, that some pots were made to be broken and some to be cherished -- so are we already doomed before birth? And if that's the case, then what is the point of even aspiring for God, since He's already decided who is to be destroyed and who He'll welcome into his inner circle? What then is the point of life?? Just seperate people into "heaven" and "hell" when they're still up there and do everyone a favor.

I've heard so many people say you have to trust God through everything. But why would you trust someone who clearly is ok with you suffering for His greater good? Some people say 'the skateboard' analogy is great for this (in a nutshell, it says you could love a child but still allow him to skateboard, knowing he will fall and hurt himself but learn in the process): that God loves us but we have to hurt to grow. Really? Seems more like we just have to hurt, and then sometimes we're rewarded but other times we just keep hurting and the only reward at the end of the day is Hell. Oh boy.

I, for one, need a break.

Movin' On Up

Hello!

So things have been busy and I don't have a ton of time to update, but currently my beau and I are living at an extended stay hotel and waiting to close on our new home. I also just started a new and demanding job, so you can imagine that I am super-busy and have very little time for blogging. The only really sad thing about living in a hotel and not our own place right now is that my beau's ball python snake (who I love and who is just the most adorable snake on earth) can't be here. He's holed up at a friend's place, and I miss seeing him. Ok, ok, usually he doesn't come out of the hides anyway, but when he does he's a riot - he careens around his cage, attempting to escape, sometimes sticking straight out of his hide like an arrow, sometimes flopping over or crawling into his water dishes. I wish he could be around, but we'll have him (and my cat as well!!!) soon.

I think my cat will enjoy the snake - he's only ever lived around dogs, and will probably be very very confused when he sees the python. I hope they deal ok with each other.

Things are coming along nicely except for the crazy weather. Why is it so COLD in the midwest? Everywhere is cold! Akron? Cold! KC? Cold! Gary? Cold! Hurry up, global warming - I'm freezing!

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Watching: Center Stage

*runs*

I've been regularly working out (3-5 times a week) since May, and only in the past two months was I able to handle a treadmill again. I used to love treadmills, but for some reason I was getting dizzy every time I ran; dizzy to the point of actual fear I would pass out or throw up, but not from overexertion or dehydration. Once I got back on the treadmill, I did a lot of intervals - you know, running for a bit and then walking, or jogging then walking, or jogging then running then walking then... well, I'm sure you get the drift.

I've been taking these vitamins called All-One, a powdered vitamin supplement that says it replaces up to 15 pills. The literature claims that some athletes use it to get superior nutrition for running; I like it because it absorbs quickly and has pretty much everything you could want in a vitamin (except for Omega 3-6-9) and also includes some of those good old greens. I had taken the Rice Base formula in the past, but this time I went for the Green Phyto and after drinking up, I headed for my new local YMCA.

To my great surprise and delight, for the very first time I did an entire mile without stopping. I've been going about 3/4 of a mile jogging, 1/4 walking for a while now, but on that day I managed an entire mile at a nice even pace! I was VERY excited. A few days later, I hit the gym with my boyfriend and managed OVER a mile - 1.25, to be exact! Because of this more constant jogging, I'm doing more mileage in my workouts than ever before, and I'm very proud of this accomplishment. I don't know that I'll push much past this milestone yet, but I'd like to become more regular in my runs and eventually go for two or three miles without stopping.

As a side note, it's been almost 19 months since I quit smoking and all of this running must be cleaning my poor beleaguered lungs out quite nicely. I have also noticed a LOT of new muscle forming in my legs, butt, and arms; sometimes it surprises me! I'm looking forward to making new goals and attaining them, and getting in shape for bikini season next year. :)

Powerball.

Figured that title might get some hits on its own.

So what am I doing lately? WELL, let me tell you: I just had a birthday. Not one of those "oh-wow-you're-____" birthdays, just a regular birthday. I got some household essentials that I will need soon and a whole buttload of roses from my beau (100, but who's counting?). Next up? My anniversary is next Saturday and big plans are in store for the near future (but not for YOU to know, because YOU'RE just an internet stalker).

Six Flags St. Louis is hiring. Don't have a job? They do. They have a lot of them. And, in the month of October, they'll pay you $2 more an hour if you work after 4 p.m. If you don't have employment right now and are worried about making ends meet, or if you have a job and want some extra Christmas cash, you're looking at way more money than Wal-Mart or some mall job will pay you. Check out sixflags.com/stlouis for all the details.

Enough with the spiel. Did I mention I got flowers from my boyfriend? They are so gorgeous - as soon as I upload them to my computer, I'll post a photo here for your jealous ass.

Also, know what I want? Moon crab. These things are cool, but make sure to get the right kind because otherwise they're MEAN. What if you're allergic to crabs? Well, don't eat these little guys for starters; second, WHY would you want to eat this sweet little moon crab??? Unfortunately I'd probably kill him, and I wouldn't want him to die, so I won't get one - but I really really want a moon crab.

The end.

Been some time

And I don't have much time now. Making plans with my life, but when I have a free moment I'm sure I'll have something to complain about, or at least something to say.

Talk to you soon!

don't call me daughter....

*Disclaimer: not everyone who is fat is a lazy bum. Some people have medical issues, either with bones/joints/muscles or glands, which will keep them from losing substantial weight. They are absolutely excluded from the following rant.*

*pulls out soapbox*

Recently I was at an event that was a solemn occasion. At this event was a very fat adolescent. How does this tie together? The kid wanted McDonalds. I WANT MCDONALDS MOM AND I WANT IT NOW WHY CAN'T I GET MCDONALDS NOW ARE YOU TAKING ME NOW WHY NOT NOW WHY MOM MCDONALDS NOW. Well, I had to hold back my slapping hand, because this tirade was at a completely inopportune time but gawddammit the fat kid wanted McDonalds and she was going to make sure everyone knew it until someone took her. For the third time that day. That's right, it was her third time that day.... AND HER MOM TOOK HER.

It hadn't just been that day. From what I understand, this heavy-set kid (no medical problems, btw, no problems except the parents from what I gather) had been eating heavy Mickey D's for days. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack. Demanding it daily - AND GETTING IT. I was literally sickened by the way she looked; multiple chins, belly hanging over her pants, mouth hanging open, fat fingers and arms. I'm very sorry, but this was completely unacceptable - the parents of this unfortunate child have done her a severe, dangerous disservice, and could very well have set their daughter up for an early grave.

It made me angry. How do children reach the proportions they reach these days? What parent believes that their overweight child looks healthy? What mother tries to get their daughter to a second or third chin before they hit puberty? Does a father think that a heavily overweight son has some advantage in school? Why on EARTH would you allow your child to either reach such a dangerous weight, or to maintain it? How the hell do you allow such a sick travesty to occur? HOW? HOW?!?

I find such overweight children absolutely appalling. I think they look like they're dying, and I believe that their parents are almost 100% to blame. Why "almost," you ask? Because there are also grandparents, aunts, and uncles who allow this to go on, and it's sick. It's become so "normal" to be fat, overweight, obese that people have made it okay in their minds -- but it's NOT okay! It's dangerous, unhealthy, and looks bad. It's an outward showing of an inward problem. Your organs suffer; diabetes creeps up; your heart screams for help; your skin pulls to awful proportions. You begin to suffocate yourself by piling fat around your lungs; you destroy the joints in your hips, knees, and ankles; you invite arthritis to come in.

I've heard people say "I'm fat and I'm proud" or "I'm big and beautiful." This is akin to saying "I smoke because it makes me look cool" or "my missing eyebrow makes me look taller." These phrases are just a way of coming to terms with a major flaw, without having to actually DO anything about it. Ask a woman who's just busted a chair she sat in if she's proud; ask a man who's just been asked to leave a roller coaster because the restraints won't fit him if he's glad to be big.

There is no excuse for an obese child. None. None at all.

*stores soapbox for next use*

Oh boy!

So I had something interesting happen to me RIGHT NOW.

*WARNING: It is only interesting to me.*

I got on my statcounter, as previously discussed, and guess who had visited me? Someone from DERRY! DERRY!

Yeah it was Derry, New Hampshire and not Derry, Maine, but still... wait, you don't know what I'm talking about? Don't know anything about me? Don't know anything about Derry? Well, well, well, look who knows so little! (it's you).

Derry is the scary-ass town with the scary-ass clown in the book "It" by Stephen King. Haven't read it? That's probably because it's over a thousand pages long -- and every page is worth it if you enjoy being so frightened you're afraid to sit with your back to the door and shower at any time after reading it, and if you enjoy long nights wondering exactly what it is your parents (or children) are doing when they're not within your field of vision. Running through the sewers? Ignoring screaming and bloody children? Not seeing anything at all? What are they doing? WHAT??

I first read the book when I was ten -- that's right, TEN! -- and it's been scaring the pants off me ever since. If I didn't have bloodcurdling nightmares as a small child, I'd just assume "It" was what kicked them all off (but I started with the nightmares very young, so Mr. King is off the hook for that one).

So I'm very excited (and scared) to greet my first guest from Derry. Hope to see you HAUNTING around here again! !!! (yep.)